Cyberbullying Warning Signs to Watch

Find out how parents and trainers can help recognize and address cyberbullying among young athletes.

By Natalie Voss

Most people have heard the old schoolyard saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” And, these days, most people know it’s not as simple as that. Words can hurt, and that becomes truer the larger audience those words reach.

Digital communication offers playground bullies new opportunities to use their words to hurt people.

It’s easier than ever for anyone — adults and children — to feel emboldened by the anonymity of communicating via text, email, gaming platforms, or social media, and take the tone or frequency of communications farther than they ever would have if they were face to face with their target.

As adults, we’re familiar with this pitfall of digital communication, but children and teens may be less equipped to handle it — and as much as we like to think the barn is a refuge from the unpleasant parts of the world, equestrian sport isn’t immune to cyberbullying.

Fortunately, there are resources available for parents and trainers/coaches to help them recognize and address cyberbullying among young athletes.

But First, the Numbers

According to a 2018 study by the Pew Research Center, 59% of American teens reported experiencing some form of cyberbullying, with the most common forms being offensive name-calling or hearing false rumors being spread about them. The same study found 90% of teens consider cyberbullying a problem for people their age, with 63% going so far as to term it a “major problem.” Other studies have pegged the prevalence closer to 25 to 30%, though all forms of bullying are thought to be underreported.

Pew researchers also found that a child’s likelihood of being cyberbullied grew in proportion to the amount of time they spent online, with the more frequent internet users being more likely to encounter cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying may include communications directly to a victim or posts made about them in group communications or digital public forums. These can include name-calling, threats, spreading of false rumors, social exclusion of someone, and attempts to humiliate the person, among other tactics. It may also include doxing (revealing personal data like location, financial information, etc.) or hacking into or creating accounts to pose as someone else. There could be other behaviors under the umbrella of “cyberbullying” too, but there is a theme with the behavior — the perpetrator is targeting someone with repeated, intentional, ongoing attempts to single out and emotionally harm them.

It’s important to know that bullying or cyberbullying are not terms meant to encompass all forms of uncomfortable interactions. Someone being rude (who is likely inadvertently hurtful) or mean (saying or doing something hurtful intentionally, but not as a repetitive pattern) isn’t considered bullying. Conflicts or disagreements between people are not automatically cyberbullying, even if they may make the participants feel hurt.

Safe Sport’s Role

In an effort to make equestrian sports a welcoming place for our youngest participants, US Equestrian’s Safe Sport policies address cyberbullying against junior athletes.

The U.S. Center for SafeSport is the national organization tasked with investigating allegations of abuse within the Olympic and Paralympic sports and setting training requirements for abuse prevention related to physical, emotional, and sexual misconduct. Each national governing body, including US Equestrian, has their own safeguarding program which sets policy and conducts investigations related to physical and emotional misconduct.

US Equestrian’s Safe Sport policies currently address bullying towards minors (either between minors or adults against minors). Cyber misconduct against adults will also be incorporated into US Equestrian’s Safe Sport upcoming policies due to changes to the U.S. Center for SafeSport’s code.

The Federation encourages adult members to disengage and utilize privacy and blocking tools on texting or social media platforms when conversations become unkind or disrespectful.

US Equestrian receives reports of cyberbullying between minors relatively rarely, but does receive reports of cyberbullying by adults aimed at children online. Adults are encouraged to be respectful, particularly when minors are included in the conversation.

Signs and Prevention

Parents and coaches are in the best position to recognize a child experiencing cyberbullying, although the signs can be subtle. Young victims of cyberbullying are often embarrassed and may not clearly communicate what they’re experiencing, particularly to adults.

Watch for behavioral changes such as:

• Quickly hiding a screen or device when others are around
• Reluctance to discuss what’s happening on an app or device
• Emotional responses to what’s happening on device screens
• Loss of interest in previously-enjoyed activities, such as riding
• Shutting down old social media accounts or starting new ones
• Expressions of low self-esteem or depression
• Changes in appetite or sleep

As much as parents don’t want to imagine their child could be cyberbullying others, an honest examination of the child’s environment and behavior can prompt important conversations.

Children and teens who engage in bullying (including cyberbullying) may be more likely to:

• Become increasingly aggressive
• Show signs of competitiveness or concern for their popularity and perception
• Have friends who engage in bullying

Beyond looking for these outward signs, it can be difficult to know when a child is being cyberbullied. Most experts on bullying encourage parents to monitor their children’s online habits, including device and social media usage, and to create an open dialogue with children as they grow older about appropriate and inappropriate online communications.

If a coach or parent discovers evidence of cyberbullying, a three-pronged response can be helpful — this includes supporting the child being bullied, addressing the behavior of the cyberbully (if possible), and becoming a role model for taking cyberbullying seriously.

When addressing the recipient of the cyberbullying, adults are encouraged to listen without judgment to the child’s experiences and perspectives, and ask questions about the who/what/when/where elements of the situation. It’s also important to emphasize unconditional support of the child and to consult with the child about their comfort levels on any possible intervention by the adult.

If a parent or coach discovers a child participating in cyberbullying, they have the opportunity to begin a calm conversation about empathy, encouraging the child to consider the impacts of their words and actions on others. It can be productive to give the child a chance to reflect on and correct their behavior before instituting consequences for cyberbullying, but be ready to carry out those consequences if the activity doesn’t change. Coaches can also encourage inclusion of a bullying target in group or barn activities and rewarding or encouraging positive behavior towards others.

Finally, if a parent or trainer becomes aware of cyberbullying towards a child by a USEF member, they can report that behavior to USEF. Please visit usef.org/safe-sport/reporting for information on direct reporting, or you can also text or WhatsApp an anonymous report to 2USEF. The Federation uses RealReponse for our anonymous reporting, which does not reveal the identity of the reporter to us. Please include any documentation, such as screenshots or communication records with your report to enable the best possible follow-through.

More resources on cyberbullying prevention and response are available from StopBullying.Gov, the Cyberbullying Research Center, and U.S Center for SafeSport.

Photos: Avery Wallace/US Equestrian